Aim To Get Better Understanding Trauma #2: Learning to Manage traumatic memories / flashbacks
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AIM TO GET BETTER BLOG #2:
LEARNING
TO MANAGE TRAUMATIC
MEMORIES / FLASHBACKS
1. Quickly identify when you have been triggered
We all experience triggering in
different ways. Some people may experience severe anxiety or a panic attack.
Some may have a compulsion to run away. Others may suddenly display seemingly
uncontrollable anger. For me, a single interaction could cause me to change in
an instant from feeling OK and in control to feeling completely overwhelmed,
unable to stop crying and having a very strong compulsion to self-harm, or even
have suicidal thoughts. At other times, I can go into “freeze” mode – I feel as
if I am going under a general anaesthetic; I can still hear voices around me,
but I feel so detached I am unable to respond.
Some people may start reliving a memory from the past as if it is actually happening now.
The first step in learning to take back control of these situations is to identify how you respond when you have been triggered.
Another important step is to understand your feelings and behaviours within the context of individual trauma. You do not have to have to be consciously reliving memories or flashbacks to be triggered. In fact, for years, I had been berating myself for “attention seeking”, “emotional addictive behaviours” or “allowing myself to suddenly become ill again”; I had no idea why I behaved the way I did, I just beat myself up for doing so.
I found it such a relief when I started to learn about trauma and realise that all of those the sudden changes in my feelings and behaviour made sense in the light of my traumatic experiences, which were being triggered by external influences.
2. Learn to identify your triggers
It may initially appear to you as
if there is no pattern to when or why you are getting triggered, and that it is
happening “for no reason”. The important thing to remember is that there is always a reason.
Start to keep a journal, logging
how you felt, how you behaved, the day of the week, where you were, who you
were with, what was happening around you, what someone said to you or how they
behaved. At first this may not be much help, but over time, you will start to
see patterns emerge; a certain place, a certain day or time, particular people
or the way others around you are behaving.
Over time, I have learnt that I am most likely to be triggered in situations where I feel out of control or disempowered, where I feel trapped and unable to escape, or when I try going to church (especially hearing particular hymns). I also get triggered by any TV programme or film that has a storyline that includes rape, sexual abuse or narcissistic behaviour.
3. Learn to avoid situations that trigger you
Where possible, try to avoid
situations and people that trigger you. For example, I no longer go to church
services, and I switch the TV off as soon as I realise the storyline could be
triggering for me.
It is not always possible to avoid your triggers because life, and people, are unpredictable! It is therefore important that you learn techniques for taking back control when you have been triggered.
4. Learn techniques for helping your thinking brain to take back control.
When we have been triggered, our emotional brain “goes into overdrive” and our thinking brain switches off (see Blog #1). The way to take back control is to use exercises that help our thinking brain switch back on.
Here are some examples:
a) Breathing: Slowly breath in whilst counting 1 – 5. Hold whilst counting 1 – 3. Slowly exhale whilst counting 1 – 5. Repeat. Become conscious of your lungs and chest as they expand and contract. Become conscious of how the rest of your body feels and responds as you slow your breathing down. Continue for as long as you need to until you feel back in control.
b) Counting out loud: If it is safe for you to do so, go outside. If you have someone who can accompany you, even better! If not, this exercise can be done inside. Start walking and count your steps 1 – 100. If you can, count out loud. Once you have got to 100, start again, this time slowing your pace down. Repeat as many times as you need to, speeding up and slowing down, until you feel that your thinking brain is back in control.
c) Engaging your senses: If it is safe for you to do so, go outside, If
not, you can do this exercise indoors.
Stand up, open your eyes and look around you. Out loud, name 5 things
that you can see. Name 4 things that you can hear (you may have to concentrate
really hard before you hear noises such as a clock ticking, or the distant
traffic). Now name 3 things that you can feel, 2 things that you can smell and
1 thing you can taste. Now close your eyes and try to remember and say out loud
the five things you saw, the 4 things you heard, the 3 things you felt, the 2
things you smelt and the thing you could taste. By the time you have finished
this exercise, it is likely that your thinking brain will be back in control!
5. Have a mental health action plan in place
A mental health action plan is a
plan that you put in place and always keep to hand, so that you know what
action to take when you have been triggered.
There are many mental health
websites that have guidance of how to write a “mental health crisis plan”. For
example,
https://psychcentral.com/health/creating-a-mental-health-crisisplan#whats-a-crisis-plan
and
https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-tosupport-andservices/crisis-services/planning-for-a-crisis/
But you don’t have to be in full
crisis to benefit from such a plan. It is likely that when you are triggered,
you will be unable to “think straight” – to have a written plan to hand with
simple steps of “things to do when I am triggered” could be very helpful.
Your plan should include:
- Phone numbers of people you can ring
-
Phone numbers or websites of helplines / support
- Places of safety you can go to if you are at risk of self-harm (friends, mental health professionals, GP surgery, nearest emergency department) - Things you can do that will help, such as going for a walk, listening to calming music, cuddling your dog or cat, going to bed or wrapping a fleecy blanket round you, doing the exercises described above.
6. Make yourself a mental health first aid box
It is really helpful to have a
box full of items that will help to calm or distract you when you have been
triggered. Different things will help different people, so its important that
you chose what to put in it.
As an example, I put my box in a room where there was a big, comfy chair with a fleecy blanket on it. Next to the chair I had a coffee table which had a scented candle and some incense sticks. Inside the box I had some scented hand cream, some stress balls, some photos of my husband and dogs, an adult sticker book and an adult dot to dot book (with 1200 dots per picture) and a pencil to join the dots with. However, I learnt very quickly that if the first thing I did was to pick up one of my sausage dogs and have a cuddle with him, I rarely needed to utilise the items in my box!
Recently, mental health boxes
have become available to buy online. Many of these are sold by people who
themselves have recently experienced mental health issues, and now want to help
others.
Examples include:
www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1760693050/crisi-kit-anxiety-coping-skills
Written by MJ Albutt 3rd Dec 2024
© AIMtogetbetter2024
www.aimtogetbetter.com
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