Why I'm Celebrating the Winter Solstice Instead of Christmas This Year

 

Aim to Get Better Blog December 2025

Why I'm Celebrating the Winter Solstice Instead of Christmas This Year

Christmas and New Year have always been a difficult time of year for me. The image of  everyone having a wonderful time playing happy families, experiencing a magical sense of belonging from spending time with loved ones, has always reopened the deep wounds of being born into an abusive, dysfunctional family.

As a teenager it was a time of feeling detached, suicidal and longing to non-exist.

As an adult, the majority of my hospital admissions were in the months leading up to the festive season.

After starting my nursing training aged 19, I chose to work every Christmas for over 20 years, preferring take new year off as a time of reflection and setting intentions for the future.

But my disillusionment with Christmas goes far deeper than my family issues.

For years I have felt such deep grief at how the Christian church has completely misrepresented the teachings of the man their religion was set up to worship. The man who made it his life’s mission to live amongst the poor, people with disabilities, the rejects and drop-outs, the individuals who had been told by the religious leaders of the time that they would never go to heaven or be good enough for God. He came with a very simple message that light, love, acceptance, and belonging were available for anyone and everyone.

For years I have been convinced that if Jesus walked the earth now he would have absolutely nothing to do with Christmas and would not want his name associated with the materialism, greed, over indulgence and obsessive need to buy others “things” in order to prove your love to them.

The only Christmas that I truly enjoyed was 1998, in Kolkata. 

 I spent 4 years living in India as a volunteer HIV nurse specialist and educator, and in 1998 I was staying in an orphanage whilst working on a project in one of the largest red-light areas in India with the Kolcutta Samaritans.

On Christmas morning there were no presents, but bucket loads of joy and happiness. Mid morning we got in the minibus and went to church for a service, followed by an amazing chicken biriani for Christmas dinner!! Then it was back to the orphanage for afternoon siesta.

A few hours later I woke up to silence. I got up to go and find out where everyone was. I found them in the kitchen, busy making up food parcels. We then spent the afternoon and evening walking round the streets in the poorest areas of Kolkatta giving out food parcels to the families living on the streets. To me, this is how “peace on earth and goodwill to all men” should be celebrated.

Since being back in UK and settling down, my husband and I have never gone for the whole present buying, rowdy family thing and have kept things quiet and simple.

As the years have gone on, at this time of year I find deep comfort from meditating on one verse from the Bible which is read at almost every carol service: “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness cannot overcome it”.

So this year, my focus has moved to the winter solstice. The night of 20^th - 21^st December is the longest night of the year.

The pagan festival of yule is a celebration of gratitude for making it through the darkness, with the hope, recognition and gratitude that the season of light is returning.

It is a time of reflection and letting go of the things that we want to leave behind with the lighting of the Yule log.

After a time of focusing on the purification of the fire, the focus turns to the light; hope and positive intentions for the future.

And as the fire turns to glowing embers, the time for celebration begins!

This is how Yuletide was celebrated in this country before the church took over. The establishment was not happy at people celebrating (and presumably having fun!), so invented the “Christ-mass”, making it obligatory for people to attend church (mass) instead of the pagan ceremonies. It was only later that the story of the birth of Jesus was attached to the Christ mass. Yet another example of how many of the deeply spiritual traditions of this country have been lost to the power and control of religion.

So this year, my husband and I  will not even try to make ourselves enjoy Christmas.

Instead, we will be having friends round on the evening of 20^th for a time of reflection, letting go, lighting of the Yule log, being grateful for the coming season of light, setting intentions for the coming year and then, of course, having the obligatory pagan piss-up!!

 

However you decide to spend the Yuletide, may light shine in your darkness, and may you be filled with hope as the dark nights retreat and the season of light takes over!!